Hell


Hell

Is many things;

Has been,

Many things.

Hell

Today was waking

Too early; before

The birds, even,

To silence; and

Darkness.

Hell

Was Texas,

Driving for hours

In heat, only

To be told,

El Paso

Nine-hundred and sixty

Miles.

Hell

Was rain

In the north,

Pouring,

Forever, from

Slate-grey swollen

Skies, seemingly

Upon just me,

Wherever I

Went.

‘Hell’, he said,

‘Is other people’,

but he

was

Wrong,

Quite, quite,

Wrong,

For it was never

People that was

The problem,

Those ‘others’,

I know this now,

But did not know

This

Then.

When was then?

Before?

‘But time is linear’

The scientists

inform

Me…

’it’s all happening right

Now’,

as I grapple with this,

Here, now,

In this

keyboard-lighted

Darkness,

Silent,

With the no

Birds.

Is this hell?

No, no,

not quite,

 

For hell, was hopping,

From one foot to the

Other,

in bus shelters,

All of them,

In January, with

Their glass laying

All around in tiny

Pieces; the wind,

Cutting,

Biting,

Right through me

As the person

I awaited drove,

Slowly,

Through another part

Of

Town, meeting

Another bus-stop

Dancer…

slowly.

 

The light is

Beginning now,

Here, as I write,

And the birds,

Also.

Coffee?…

yes.

 

Hell, I thought,

As I sip at this cup,

Was the moment my

father,

Disappeared From

view,

On rollers,

His trilby gently

Resting atop the

Wood,

as curtains slowly

Closed at his

feet.

But no, this was

No

Hell,

As his friends,

the band,

Played him out,

Up-tempo and

With skill,

and consummate professionalism,

gleaned over many

years…

Together.

 

Heaven,

was

rain pouring in

the south,

a storm,

hot, healing,

steaming,

and

LOUD.

 

thought that hell

Was the last woman,

Leaving;

The back of her head;

the last

Latch

Click…

And it was all my fault.

 

But no,

No, that wasn’t it

Either.

 

My mother?

Still,

Finally,

Mouth slightly

agape,

Light gone from her

Still open

Eyes, as the

Nurse

Silently opened

A

Window.

 

Perhaps…perhaps

Not.

 

Hell,

Is being

Unable to

Write, to get these

Things

Down on the page,

Which has been happening

Of late,

But as you can see,

I have now entered the

Kingdom of Heaven,

As I sit here,

Alone,

Writing, Feeling,

All 

of

This,

Whilst sipping coffee;

Hot, the steam

Rising to my face,

Warming me,

Sustaining me,

As the sun,

Now sliding in through

The window,

Warms the bottom

Of my leg,

and I smile

And look slightly

To the

left.

 

 

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One Response to “Hell”

  1. jim bamber Says:

    Wow ……amazing stuff my friend …. Bj

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